Dear Lisa

I have already posted a post on Instagram and Facebook and yet for some reason I feel like the words I typed out are not enough. So here I am typing out a blog post.

You had a light about you. You were loving, kind, and you poured yourself into others. I know you never knew how much you meant to people, and I know that you had no clue of the impact you had on others. You loved Jesus, your family, your church…and while I don’t blame you and I am not mad that God took you too soon, because I know that His plans are not mine. Even as I try to wrap my mind around it all, I keep hearing you telling me to be kind to myself. I know it will hurt for a bit, but goodness the things that you have taught me! I don’t know if I can begin to count or recount all of those things. You seemed to see the “Me” that God intended me to be when I couldn’t see it. The cards, the texts, the hugs….there is just so many things over the few years I have had the joy of calling you friend on earth. To be honest if I can put one word to the feeling I have in this moment it’s lonely. Walking into Church today was one of the hardest things I have done in my life, I stared at the missions office hoping that if it truely were a bad dream you’d walk through. I could barely get through the hymns this morning because all I could picture is you singing the same songs in eternity in the presence of our Savior. 

You poured so much into; not just myself, but to so many people. I promise to try to be brave. I hope you’ll understand that I simply don’t feel so brave right now. I will try to be the Pastor’s wife you saw me as.  

Today when I got home, I got into my comfy clothes and I grabbed the coloring book you gave me simply because you saw it and it made you think of me. I colored for a bit and thought of all the good times. I smiled because sending cards or seeing something like a coloring book for someone was something you did. You were a giving person, you never asked for anything in return. 

I thought of how on Friday night, I was putting on the dramatics with the storm and the electricity out. I was home alone and had brought out an extra oil lamp and when I ran out of fire wood, I went out in the whirling wind to bring some in and then felt the need to have coffee. So of course I found a way to make coffee and I laughed to myself because I felt like I was in Little House On The Prairie. I couldn’t wait to tell you because I knew you’d laugh and find it funny. 

No matter how many tears are shed or how much I wish you were here for longer, you are home now. How can I possibly wish you back after all the beauty you are seeing. You are in such a better place and in time I will start to understand that. 

I love you my friend, you have left footprints on my heart and for that I will be forever thankful. See you soon!

Forever Friends

If you follow me on Instagram you probably saw my post on saying good byes. I tend to prefer “See you later” because One day, Lord willing; sooner rather then later, we will see each other again. 

On the way to Dulles to drop Dan and Jen off, I couldn’t believe two weeks flew by as quickly as it did. It was too soon. 

Their last night ,we did a bonfire. Seemed fitting to have s’mores and music before they went home.

   
 
I sat the the back of the van thinking of how fast it all went. How I was going to say good-bye. Then I realized that this good bye was only for a little while. 

  
It didn’t help that it rained a little bit. Adding to what I already felt.

  
I was looking out the window at Dulles and had this thought:

I like to think of the heart as a house. There are people who come and go. Then you have people who stay and make themselves at home. These special people are forever friends. The kind that sit on your sofa, kick off their shoes and stay awhile. Those are forever friends. Those are the friendships were the memories keep you warm until you see each other again and make new memories to go with the last.

With that kind of friendship, England is only a heartbeat away.

~Brandy