Look Whose Back

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April 22, was the last post I made here. It feels odd in a way to come back to blogging after being gone. I could go through the different reasons why I was gone, but the truth of the matter is that I needed it. I don’t really need to explain more than that. However, I do feel the calling to pull aside the shades and I have some fun plans in the works. I am really excited because I am in a season of life at the moment where I can really flex my creative muscles while also digging into some truth. My truth in particular, because I hope that some of the things that I have been discovering about myself will help someone else.

There is something freeing about admiting your truth. To admit that behind the pretty filters we put on, we all have our stories. Some stories are harder to tell then others but they don’t have to be the parts that we are ashamed of. That was what i was continuously struggling with. The idea that in Christ, there is nothing to be ashamed of. While our stories helped to shape us, they are not meant to be the identity in which you cling to. We like to hold on to the bad as excuses and identities because it feels safer. It feels safer then to lay it down and claim a more bold identity because if your proud of who you are, you are either to prideful or conceited. So we grasp false humilty like a blanket because it is easier then to proclaim that we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. We hold onto our anxities because that is easier then to believe that the God who created all things can also care for your most mundane needs..He cares for the birds of the air and so can He care for you. It is easier to cling to our depression because we look to people, objects and anything that will make us feel happiness, when as Christians we are told to have joy. Joy is stronger than happiness because it’s foundation is not rooted in ourselves. I am going to talk more about anxiety and depression in a different post because I want to share my struggles and victories in these areas of my life.

In other words, it is time for me to strip down the walls and it is time to expose the truth with Truth. It won’t all be serious topics, I have some fun posts planned as well. I am looking forward to be sharing my heart with you once again. Till next time.

B

Lessons Learned In The Week Of Tears

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I have cried a lot last week.

I had to of gone through every emotion you could think of. I felt like I was drowning and the more I tried to come up for air the further I sunk. If you don’t mind sitting for a spell while I pour out my heart a little bit here as a kind of partner post for Water The Flowers.

To be honest with you and myself, I have felt angry. Angry at pretty much everything that was out of my control. Angry that I felt like my life was on hold and not able to move on  to the next season. At one point I think I cried out, when will it be my turn?

I feel that it is important to balance the positive with a touch of reality. Trying to remind yourself that not all rainy seasons are bad, is tough. Especially when you feel like you are in a downpour that just won’t let up. Sometimes this comes in one of many forms and sometimes in all of them. Either way, no matter how positive you try, sometimes you feel like you just ran into a wall. It stings. All the “I’m Okays” and the “Look at the good” feels like a slap in the face. How long do I need to wait for my life to go in the direction I want it too? Is it up to me? Up to other people? How can I trust God with this? I firmly believe in and stand by what I said in the post linked above, but to be honest, some days are just harder then others.

I remember taking the picture above. I picked a throwback on purpose. I was 18 maybe 19. It was in the time where mirror selfies were done with a camera and flash. In this picture, I thought I had an idea of where I was going. What I was going to be doing. I have my natural hair color, the white tee shirt I loved to wear then. Probably barefoot or wearing those ridiculous sneaker wedges I thought were cute. I was with someone I thought I was going to marry, have babies and the farmhouse I had always wanted. The girl in the picture thought she knew. However, few months after this photo was taken, I ended the relationship, stopped wearing those weird shoes and asked myself, what now?

Life is full of “what now?” questions. You can’t really avoid them. Because we change on a constant basis and our lives change right along with us. Sometimes it is drastic, other times it happens so quietly that when you look in the mirror you almost have to reintroduce yourself to yourself. It happens. It is life. Sometimes life brings tears. That has been this past week. It has been a season. A season that sometimes feels like it is never going to end. However the truth is that it will come to an end. It takes time, faith, and the word that is most difficult to swallow: trust. It is hard to trust what we can’t see.

There was a time where Colin and I went to the King and Queen Seat at Rock State Park. It is 100 feet and 200ft from Deer Creek below. I never considered myself to have a fear of heights, but as I stood at the top, I made a huge mistake. I looked down. I know, I know, what was I thinking? I thought I could handle it. I thought “Hey, I have no fear and it won’t bother me to take a peek..” I ended up slowly moving towards a rock that was away from the edge and sitting. Looking at the trees and calming my racing heart. That is what this week for me has been like. Sometimes when we feel like we are falling, we make the mistake of looking down instead of looking up. When you look down you look at the fact there is nothing you can really see. It is scary. But when you keep your eyes up at The One who has had you the whole time.

That is the thing. We often forget that we are being held. That when we feel like we are falling it’s not as drastic as we make it seem.

The Lord is good, a refuge in a time of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him.”

Nahum 1:7 NIV

We have a place to run to even when it feels like it’s too far or not there at all. He is there. I know I have shared this poem before and I am feel it is fitting for this too.

The poem was written by a Jewish prisoner at a concentration camp. Scratched on the wall that housed someone’s nightmare, was a poem.

I believe in the sun,

even when it isn’t shining.

I believe in love,

even when I am alone.

I believe in God,

even when he is silent.

Maybe it is because we live in a world of social media where everything is documented, but I feel that even when I think God is being silent….He really isn’t. In fact it’s the outside noise that is making it hard to hear. In other cases it is the voices of our addictions, our illness…. that causes us to go deaf. Then there are times where silence is an answer. If I am honest, I don’t really understand why.

I love hymns, the one that has been on my heart recently is Because He Lives. There is this one part that I have been repeating to myself often this week is “Because He lives, I can face tomorrow…” I needed to be reminded of that. To be reminded that even when I feel like my life is dark and falling apart, that I have an anchor there. I have always had an anchor. I just had to toss it out into the stormy seas and simply be still.

~Bee

 

 

 

 

 

My Word For The New Year.

Well, here we are. The last day of 2018. in one way it is hard to believe that here we are at the end of another year. In another,  I am breathing a sigh of relief. I made it!! I have survived, even if I feel as though I barely made it in one piece. I did.

Every Year I strive for a new word to be the theme of my new year. I don’t believe I posted a “word” for the new year last year. Which in a way turned out to be for the better. In the coming year I decided to not only pick a word, but to do a bucket list of goals for the coming new year. A list of things that I know I can accomplish. It also goes hand in hand with the word that I picked for the new year.

My word for the new year is: PURPOSE. 

I am going to live my life out in the new year with purpose. I am going to live fully and purposefully. I am going to take what I learned this year about being myself and carry it over throughout the new year as well. If you read my post about how I am going to try and blog more.

I am going to get myself healthier in the three big areas of my life; physically, mentally and spiritually. I am looking forward to the new year and the changes that await me. I will be heading into my 28th birthday, my sixth wedding anniversary…. I already have some fun blog ideas for the new year, to help establish where I want my blog to be by this time next year. I am looking forward to exploring and navigating this crazy thing called life in this new year!

Happy New Year my friends!

xo

B

“You Found Yourself”

“It’s ok. You just forgot who you are. Welcome back.”

A week before Thanksgiving, my husband Colin and I decided that we really needed a day of fun. So we got into the car and we went to a larger mall about 45 minuets away from where we live. We had lunch and just enjoyed window shopping. I went into to a store and found a dress on sale that I thought was pretty. I debated back and forth about buying the dress because while it was my style, I honestly wondered what others would think. I know, insane right? We tend to do that do we not? Worry way to much about others thoughts despite what makes us feel most like the creations we are.

So I decided, what the heck, and I got the dress. I decided that I would wear it to church for the Thanksgiving dinner that we have every year the Sunday before Thanksgiving. I did my hair and makeup and paired the dress with some boots and a hat. I looked in the mirror and I saw myself. I loved the way I felt and I took a deep breath and I walked out the door.

I got so many compliments. It really is amazing what kind words can do for a person’s soul. However there was one comment that struck me to my core. A very sweet lady who had complimented my outfit earlier that morning came up to me and said ” You know what, you found yourself.” As she walked away, I stood there and let her words sink in.

Did I really?

Did I really find myself?

This morning I found this quote and I posted it to Facebook:

‘Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?’-k.w

It was one of those moments that made me sit there and think about it for a moment. To be honest I don’t know that I remember. Why do we allow the world to tell us who we are? All the negative thoughts it plants in our minds, yet there is a God who shares the positive identity. True, we live in a fallen world, filled with sin. In our sin we are living in a negative world, enslaved to the emotional trauma of not being allowed to be yourself. The world likes copies, while God created individuals.

Psalm 139:14a

‘I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made….’

If you look at verse 13, it states that while we were in the womb we were being created. He knew us and loved us. He gave us His only Son so that we may live forever with Him (John 3:16). So why would we rather accept the worlds opinion of who we are suppose to be? The world likes to crush the free spirted dreamers. we are suppose to look, talk, act and dress a certain way. You do these things and then you are told your just like everybody else. So you can’t be different, but you can’t act to much like everyone else. No wonder our generation is so confused! We are not allowed to be free thinkers.

So if a God who created you just the way you are, from your looks to your general makeup, why do we not learn to love ourselves the way we were created?

I have come to a point that in my life that I would rather be myself and not some copy of someone else.

So let’s do just that! Let us be ourselves because it is much better then being just like everyone else.

-B

 

Turn the Page and Leave the Jug

It is past midnight and I really should be asleep. I seem to always get a nudge to write in the middle of the night. Ironic because I am way more a morning person. I love mornings (now don’t stop reading, I like sunshine and coffee.) So here I am. Ready to pour myself out and hope that someone will be encouraged and will in turn encourage someone else. A real chain reaction as we all grab each others hands and say “It’s okay, you are not alone.” It is lonely to be out in this world because we are content in our little corners. No one wants to step out and call out the ugly for what it is: UGLY.

Back in March I shared the passing of my pastor’s wife Lisa, if you have not read my post you can here  Dear Lisa   

I share this other post because this post here is going to be in a sense a conclusion of the thoughts that have ran through my head in the past months. I didn’t actually think I had more to say. I have grown spiritually in the past few months and I want to share my heart with you.

For as long as I can remember I have always loved stories. I love writing them, telling them, reading them… and I enjoy living them. My life is a story unfolding chapter by chapter. I came to a point where I looked at the person in the mirror and I didn’t want to blog, I didn’t want to write anything. I think that loss has a way of doing many different things to many different people based on your relationship with that person. I kinda felt lost. What I mean by lost is simply put, I needed to grow up spiritually. In life as the chapters end, sometimes the pervious chapter was so good, and beautiful, and you never want it to end. I was enjoying the last chapter and to be honest I didn’t really want to turn the page, because turning the page was scary. I will not be heading up the fan club for change anytime soon. The new chapter to be blunt was the Lord really taking my heart and showing me the imperfections that needed to be addressed. I couldn’t stay the same. The storm raging in my heart needed to be calmed, and while I am being honest here, I was clinging to the side of the ship. During this time I was going through 100 Days To Brave by Annie Downs. As I worked through it, I saw piece by piece as the puzzle of the problem and my disconnect was becoming clearer. I needed to take courage and walk through the open door of change. I needed to be more caring and compassionate. I needed to love more, be meek and humble. Not because I am complacent or weak, because I drew from the well of everlasting water that only Jesus can provide and come out with strength through Him.

So I challenged myself to read from older and wiser women and men. Cue in Elisabeth Elliot, Amy Carmichael.. to name a couple. If I couldn’t find books for free, I watched YouTube videos, and read quotes. I realized very quickly the main problem: TRUST. I am going to be blunt; I simply did not trust God to come in and carry me through my stuff, to lead me where He wanted me to go, to prepare me, equip me….because I put my identity in the shame I felt, the pain, the words of lies spoken over me…because that was “easier”. Ha! Joke is on me because like Christian walking through with his burden strapped to his back, I was walking around with all this junk and it was so heavy.

Then I found a kindred spirit in the woman at the well in John chapter 4. Here was a woman who carried her stuff around. What we see is a woman, who lived a lifestyle she wasn’t proud of. She went to the well when no one was around, probably to avoid the judgmental stares, the whispering and the added shame. She meets Jesus, and He offers her water through Him, water that will quench her thirst eternally. He brings to light her past and offered redemption from the past identity and offers her a brand new one. In verse 28, do you realize that when she went to tell people about Jesus, she left the water jug she had been carrying. She left it behind. She no longer felt the need to keep it. I came to the realization that I, Brandy, liked to go back and pick up the water jug where I left. This girl was micromanaging. I needed to put that jug down. Once I set it down and said no to picking it back up, I tasted the freedom that comes with letting go.

One author I have grown to admire and adore is Elisabeth Elliot. I have always enjoyed her writing but I started to see her in a different light because if you know anything about her story, through what had to be terrifying and hard, she still trusted God and believed that His will was perfect and it wasn’t her place to question His will. The more I read in the Word of God, the more I started to see the jug for what it was. No longer relevant to my story. No matter what was going to be thrown my way, the way I reacted is totally up to me. I needed to learn to say ‘God, I don’t feel okay, but I believe Your will is still perfect despite it.’ We don’t get to pick the circumstances in life but we go get to pick our reactions. I want to be a complete nobody trying to exalt Somebody. I needed to see that the world will see me as a nobody, because my identity does not come from the world. It comes from the One who calls me ‘beloved’ (Romans 9:25). I needed to remember the world will never appreciate me, but that in everything I do I need to do it from the heart for the Lord not people (Colossians 3:23).

 

So here I am. I dropped the water jug, and I turned the page. The story that God is writing for me is simply perfect, with all the scars, tears and mess. My life is far from perfect, total perfection will come when I enter Glory. Trusting God’s will is not always easy. However it is always worth it. Because as Elisabeth Elliot beautifully put into words, God’s story never ends with ashes.

*photo: brandy strong word editing done on Word Swag.

~Brandy

Time To Let Go Of The Marker


Hello and welcome to my little home here on the internet!

I remember the night I got saved pretty clearly. It was an unusually warm November and I was standing in a room in a convention center that was a prayer room. It was lined with paper and you could grab a marker and write a prayer request. With a marker in hand I stared at the blank space where I was going to write my own prayer request. I had grown up in the Church, yet I had never accepted Jesus as my personal Savior. I ended up writing a very generic prayer request, something along the lines of praying that God would speak to whomever. What I really wanted to write was: Help, I am lost. Instead of putting down what was really going down in my heart, I ran from it. I replaced the cap on the marker and left feeling as hopeless as I was walking in. Good news though: that night God did speak to whomever and that was me, because I ended up giving my life to Jesus. My life changed that night. Laying in bed that night listening to the waves crash onto the shore, I marveled at the difference I felt. I went from being the girl was gripping a marker pleading for help, to an hour later feeling hope, love and true joy. This November will be 12 years.

Our stories are unique. Our stories bear witness to all the amazing things God has done in and through our lives. So why is it so hard to take the marker and put what is really on our hearts and give it over to God? Even in the privacy of our journals we still put up walls. I eventually had to tell myself to get over myself. There is nothing nor will there ever be anything that God does not already know. So why do we death grip the marker? White knuckling it till the pretty words come out instead of the sorrow, the pain and the anguish, we are really feeling? God understands, He has been there. We are going to go through hard times. It is apart of this broken, temporary place that we call home for now. There is some scripture that remind me that even in the tough times I was never intended to go through them alone, and I am not the only person who has ever gone through it.

Now we have this treasure in clay jars, so that this extraordinary power may be from God and not from us. We are afflicted in every way but not crushed; we are perplexed but not in despair, we are persecuted but not abandoned; we are struck down but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:7-9

While it is normal to have days where we are just feeling lost and abandoned. We are not. Do you trust God? Do you believe that He will take care of you? Do you understand that you are beloved, wanted, loved dearly, cherished…to name a few? Let’s jump ahead in the same passage:

Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory. So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

It’s all temporary. So what do we do? Well, let’s start by releasing the death grip on the marker your holding on to. The blank space in front of you? Write it out, tell God all about it. You will find freedom there. Let’s be honest with ourselves. Let’s tell God how we are really feeling, He already knows. Then allow for the Spirit to transform us. Trust that no matter what you are going through, no matter what your story is, there is a way out. Sure, it may take time. Sometimes a painful season is longer then what we want. But let’s learn from those time too. We just have to let go and Trust that God has got us. He has us in the palm of His hand and He will never let us go.

 

Brandy

 

The Calling I Hid From


Hello and welcome to my little home here on the internet! I am so glad you stopped by! 

I hope you don’t mind my soul sharing but I want to talk about callings. Specifically the one I have been hiding from. 

“How does one hide from their calling?” You may be wondering…well here is my realization.

When I felt God speak to me and tell me I was going to be a Pastor’s wife, that wasn’t scary to me. I was fully prepared to be someone’s side kick. To encourage my husband from the pew as he got up to the pulpit. Easy right? 

God had to have laughed. Today I am married and my husband is licensed to preach, a deacon at our Church and looking at seminary. The calling to be a Pastor’s wife was easy because I didn’t listen to the still small voice saying “ Okay Brandy, now that you know what your husband’s occupation is, let’s talk about how you are going to serve me.” I went about my business. Then I kept feeling the nudging of the Spirit and the opportunities that were open and I didn’t take because I had the following excuses:

1. I am too anxious

2. I don’t know how to start

3. I felt like I was going to drown before stepping into the water

They were excuses. God can use us no matter where we came from or who we are. It’s no secret to Him if I’m shy and introverted. He created me! But He created me to step out of my comfort zone despite my introverted ways. 

This blog, writing, sharing my heart through written word and spoken words are gifts and talents He has given me as a mission field. The disinterest, the fear… I hid from writing because it was easier to do then to step out on faith and allow God to take control. I was being a control freak. I liked controlling my destiny.  When in reality, I had no control at all. 

In the beginning of February, I approached my Pastor and my Pastor’s wife about my anxiety. I had been plagued for months with intense anxiety. I got to a place where I felt I couldn’t hear God and I couldn’t discern His voice. We had made arrangements to meet up after Church on Sundays. I started the devotional 100 Days To Brave. Then before our meeting to discuss what I had gleaned from my first week Lisa, my pastor’s wife, passed away suddenly. A part of me honestly felt that I couldn’t go on with it. You know though, I had already had break through moments and I felt the anxiety dripping away. Why put back on the chains? I continued on. The past week had been about callings. As I prayed, for the first time with listening ears and I committed to doing whatever was asked of me, I felt God open my eyes to my writing. 

I don’t know where He will take me but the point is; I am done hiding from it. There is a quote from Elisabeth Elliot that I love and I believe is fitting: 

“ This job has been given to me to do. Therefore, it is a gift. Therefore, it is a privilege. Therefore, it is an offering I may make to God. Therefore, it has to been done gladly if it is done for Him. Here, not somewhere else, I may learn God’s way. In this job, not in some other, God looks for faithfulness.” -Elisabeth Elliot

What is the job, the calling you are called to do? Don’t hide, do it. If you don’t know your calling, seek Him. He will reveal His job for you to do. Then when you you find it, do the next thing (another Elisabeth Elliot reference). 

– Brandy

Your Brokenness Is Welcome Here


Hello! Welcome to my little home here on the internet!

Instagram for me is a peaceful happy place. I have more control over the content that shows up on my feed who I follow, who I interact with. I have family there, I have people that I admire, Musical’s I follow… but mostly people who are believers. I found Jordan Dooley, gosh, I don’t know if I can remember the exact moment that I discovered her blog and Instagram page.. but anyway; I love her posts. Then I saw that she started a movement with these sweatshirt’s that say Your Brokenness Is Welcome Here.”  You can check out her site Soul Scripts for the sweatshirts, shirts, Bible Studies.. You’ll love it! 

I am an introvert who desires to share more about the love of God with others on top of that I am more shy by nature. I have been working on being more friendly and open. I loved the message because it invites conversation and it is a reminder that at one point I was broken but when I received the beautiful gift of Salvation through Jesus, and I have been made whole. There is no beauty in brokenness, but beauty can come from brokenness. There is a solution to brokenness. Why wouldn’t I want to share the solution to brokenness. I want to open my heart to those who feel broken and simply say that I have been there. I know what it is like to be broken. At 15 years old, I sat in a Convention center listening to someone talk about Jesus almost 12 Years ago. I was in a pit, I felt lost and confused. I was broken and felt unloved, unwanted. The man speaking talked about all the things that I was going through then offered the solution, simply going to Jesus and handing it over. I did and I am so glad I did. I wasn’t promised a perfect painless life, but the pain of some the seasons I have walked through have been an easier when I can cast my cares and worries and hand them over to someone who wants my stuff. I still struggle with anxiety and depression, but over time as I learn to let go, I am being redeemed. I am being refined. 

If your broken, whole, regardless of where you are; you are welcome here. You are loved, you are wanted by a God that doesn’t ask you to do A-Z before He will offer you love and acceptance. He did A-Z on the Cross so you don’t have to, all because He loves and wants YOU! 

Pretty cool right? 

Here is a little side-note for my Sisters (And Brothers too):

Let’s love those around us!! 

We are called to love others, not judge and condemn them. We need to as the Church step up and say “Welcome! Come as you are!” The Father welcomes all who come to Him, so why wouldn’t we welcome those who look at us as ambassadors of Christ. Let’s be examples of who God really is, not the one religion crafted Him to be. 

-Brandy

Prayer Journaling: Part 1

Hello and welcome to my little home here on the internet! 

Tiny update: I am going to start posting on more of a schedule now. I am not set on a schedule as of yet, but I am going to try and post more. Once I have set posting days that I like and know how often I’ll make a little post about it and share my heart with you. 

With that being said let’s talk about something that I am passionate about: Prayer Journaling. I am going to break it down into two parts. Part one will be why we should use Prayer Journaland part two will be my favorite Prayer Journaling essentials that I have found that makes Prayer Journaling fun and something I look forward to doing. 

So you may be asking why use a Prayer Journal?  

I think the best way to answer the why is to share a little about my journey with Prayer Journaling. Before I was saved and became a God-Lover (Any Christy Miller fans?) I use to keep a diary. I found writing to be therapeutic and I also found it easier to process what was on my mind when I wrote it down. Then at the age of 15 when I asked Jesus to captain my ship, I struggled with just sitting there and simply praying. My mind would wander and sometimes I would have so much to pray for that I found it hard to know where to start. Then I discovered Prayer Journaling. When I say Prayer Journaling is a journey, it really is. Some say it’s a crutch but if you look at the Psalms you see chapters of Prayer. So if David, who was not only a king but was called a man after God’s own heart can write his prayers whether in song form or simply just written words; so could I. There are some Prayers that are easier to write down because you just can’t get the words out. I have been there. I still have those days. 

I have found that the more I practice written Prayer, my audible prayers are easier because I find that I pray the way I write. Prayer is essential to our walk, I can not stress that enough! The importance of communication with our Savior. Reading His Word and Prayer go hand in hand. We are here to glorify God. There is a shift in my attitude and my overall outlook on life when I pray. It’s a practice that is a great tool to learn to pray for more then our wants but for requests and our thankfulness. 


The more you read the Word the more you will understand the importance of prayer. Not to mention all the examples of prayer and communication with God that is in The Word. 

I know I mentioned above somewhere that my prayer journaling has helped with my audible prayer life. They go hand in hand. My prayer journal is a tool for the prayers I pray while I am doing studies, to open my heart to learning His Word. I also use it when I feel overwhelmed and I can’t speak. Thank God for a God who loves it when we come to Him no matter the method. Whether you prayer journal, or you use audible prayer, or you do both; He loves to hear from us! 

Let’s talk about prayer! If you have a Prayer request (you don’t have to actually share the details; you can simply say “Unspoken”) comment, I would love to pray for you! Till next time! 

Brandy

Bless This Mess

Fall has to be one of my all time favorite seasons. Although the lovely state of Maryland has Bipolar days. 

Maybe it’s all the colors on the trees but I just want to create things. Whether it is baking, writing, crafting.. I just want to just create and spread creativity. Mainly I have only written and baked. All my craft stuff is in storage at the moment. 

My life the past few weeks would make for novel that is for sure. When you think that everything is falling into place and then you find out that those pieces are scattered. It’s hard to hold on to your dreams when you feel as though every door just keeps shutting. Then I look up from the mess and see the door open. 

Sometimes when life becomes to hard or unbearable, I tend to shrink back in terror of the mess that is coming my way. I like plans and chaos is disorganized. But it’s been in the messiest of times I see the beauty God has to offer, because that is what He does, He creates beauty. 

I realized, I needed to change the way I view the mess. There is so much to learn, see and experience. Including changing the chapter when it’s time. Big girl decisions need to be made at times and there are journey’s I have yet to embarke on. Thankfully I don’t have to go alone.

Brandy