This year, as I have said many times, has been a real refining year. For me, 25 has been a refining age. It has been painful, I’ll be honest. Incredibly painful. I have had to come to terms with where I am in life and be okay with that. I have had to face past demons that I have allowed to stick around for far to long. I have had to go through tough stuff right along with joy. There have been days I have white knuckled days and days I have laughed through. One thing that has been made clear, is that I am tired of the surface faith I seem to have. Funny how the toughest moments can make you question the depth of your faith. I took a long look in the mirror and saw a stretched thin stressed afraid woman, I did not see a strong prayer warrior and saved joyful person. I allowed my circumstances to just smack me around. I was ashamed to be honest, because you read Matthew 6:25-34 and Jesus tells us not to worry, yet I do. Instead of taking it to the Lord in prayer, I just clutched it in my fits unwilling to let go. I desire depth and whine and complain when I don’t have it. Let’s be honest here, I kept myself from that depth. What legacy does whining leave? Not a good one. Why was I okay living a life of mediocre faith when I have been saved by grace. Someone took the baggage and I demanded to carry it.
So here’s to letting go and letting God do what He has already done.