Dream About Your Marriage, Not The Wedding

  With summer comes weddings and with weddings, the desire for weddings comes up. I have been there. I have a Pinterest board or two that were full of all my wedding dreams. Pinterest is a great tool for planning a wedding. That is pretty much all I did once I got engaged. 

There is no harm in dreaming. I started dreaming about my wedding once I saw my first episode of A Wedding Story on TLC ( any body else remember that show?!?).

When I was 18, God spoke to my heart. This was after I was with a guy I thought I was going to marry. I had been dreaming of our wedding and when I realized he wasn’t for me and I wasn’t for him; it was heartbreaking. So when I was praying and seeking God for direction. My answer was that I needed to dream about my marriage, not my wedding. 

Easier said then done for sure. It’s hard when you see pictures from friends getting married and those gorgeous wedding dresses. In fact it is so much easier to dream about one day then to dream about the rest of your life. 

If you want the honest truth; the day that is suppose to be the best day of your life….. I only remember bits and pieces of that day. And while that day was one of the happiest days of my life, I have had made a bunch of other happy memories within being married the past two years.

Marriage is hard work. It requires you to be selfless. Being someone’s sidekick and biggest fan. Sometimes you’ll be hurt by words, and there will be times you are hurtful. There will be times where you feel so lost in this world and holding the hand of somebody who loves you at you worst, when no one else can. Marriage is beautiful and ugly at the same time. But you wouldn’t trade it for the world. 

Letting go the fantasy of the wedding and grasping the reality of marriage is what I think is more romantic. The wedding was a public version of me. My hair and face done and smiling for pictures. The marriage is a stubborn freckled girl who has a temper, and free-spirited. Once I grasped the concept of dreaming of my marriage over my wedding, I allowed myself to be me with my husband. I realized that I never wanted to be anything but me. The man who was willing to be married to me for better or worse, temper and even keeled times, till death, deserved a wedding more then I did. That’s not easy. 

I am not an expert in marriage. But I pray that this will touch somebody. Weddings are wonderful. However, marriage that is built on preparing your heart, and loving someone for the rest of your life; is precious. Having someone love you for the rest of your life will be more memorable then the dress that you can’t eat in! 


A New Chapter In The TTC Journey

Well it has been a little bit since I have posted about my TTC journey. I think the last post I talked about the stress of TTC and baby names. So I figured that I should give you an update for the month of July.

I ended up taking a break from TTC for the month of July. No charting, no checking, no stress, no fuss. It helped having friends over for two weeks and going out of town for a week. I needed a vacation and I needed to really just have some fun. In fact it was so relaxing, I have carried it into August. I am currently waiting for AF to show up. Which should be any day now. 

Taking a month off and not really trying for a baby has been a smart move. I came to a point where it was time to stop counting the months that go by. Just enjoy life. If any of you have walked through the TTC journey, you know that it can be draining emotionally. It can be stressful. 

To continue with enjoying life; I am doing WorshipU online courses. I am planning on going down to visit my Aunt in West Virginia. It is all exciting things. Babies are blessing. I don’t want to be frustrated, stressed or worried during the process. 

I will do monthly updates. Because I am still on this journey. I just have a different attitude. That and to be able to look back at these posts later. I can see how my prayers get answered. 

Sending Baby Dust your way!


Letting Go and Letting God

This morning, I sat with my cup of coffee and my new devotional. The past few days with Shauna  on pregnancy and the exposed heart of a woman aching to be a mom. 

Since entering this journey, it has been full of up’s and downs. I don’t think any woman expects to still be sitting on the bench waiting to be picked for the mommy team. 

It’s not that I’m not happy for the wonderful women who have joined the mommy team. In fact, I am elated. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t have a moment where I wish I could have the same thing. 

The past month, I felt a gentle tug on my heart to allow July to be a month of rest. It is so easy to allow myself to feel the anxiety and sadness of the months that didn’t work out the way I wanted them too. To be able to stand on the edge of that mountain and raise my hands and cry out in complete surrender. To come to a place where it is okay to feel the emotions that hit me. At the same time not allowing sadness to conquer my heart. I think in those moments, there is nothing that God can’t handle. This doesn’t just mean infertility but for every aspect of life that becomes difficult. Whether it is praying for a new job or waiting for God to point in the direction where your gifts will be used. No matter the season you are in, there is nothing that God can’t handle or carry you through. 

Whatever it is that you are going through, would you join me in letting it go and allowing God to carry us? 


Forever Friends

If you follow me on Instagram you probably saw my post on saying good byes. I tend to prefer “See you later” because One day, Lord willing; sooner rather then later, we will see each other again. 

On the way to Dulles to drop Dan and Jen off, I couldn’t believe two weeks flew by as quickly as it did. It was too soon. 

Their last night ,we did a bonfire. Seemed fitting to have s’mores and music before they went home.

I sat the the back of the van thinking of how fast it all went. How I was going to say good-bye. Then I realized that this good bye was only for a little while. 

It didn’t help that it rained a little bit. Adding to what I already felt.

I was looking out the window at Dulles and had this thought:

I like to think of the heart as a house. There are people who come and go. Then you have people who stay and make themselves at home. These special people are forever friends. The kind that sit on your sofa, kick off their shoes and stay awhile. Those are forever friends. Those are the friendships were the memories keep you warm until you see each other again and make new memories to go with the last.

With that kind of friendship, England is only a heartbeat away.


Williamsburg Part 2 |Jamestown|

In the past few months have I really gotten to find a connection to Jamestown. Through studying my family and finding some of my relatives who had lived in Jamestown before settling in different parts of Virginia and Maryland. 

•Indian Village•   
The first part we walked through the Powhatan Indian Village. 

•The Dock•

These were the replica ships.

•The Fort•

The Fort that the English built and settled.

  After we did all of the outdoor museum, we went inside to go through the museum inside. 

To be continued….


Williamsburg Part 1 |Colonial Park • Busch Gardens|

Our vacation crew this year was Colin and I with Dan and Jen, and Colin’s sisters Maddy and Chloe. 

We were there for 6 days and while there were some hot days, we loved being down there. 

We also went to Busch Gardens. 

I also snapped a few shots from our last walk through the Colonial Park.

I love pink clouds! Don’t be surprised to see some of those cloud pictures in another post! 

To be continued…..


Vacation with Friends

•To prevent a novel coming out of one post, I will be posting a couple more blog posts!• 

All stories have a beginning. The part where you sit in a comfy chair with a cup of tea or coffee. Some of you may rather have a glass of wine. You sit down and open up the book. The weight of the story meant to be read in your hands. 

This story begins at Dulles airport. Colin’s best friend and his wife were coming in from England. I had met both of them over Skype and was excited to see them in person. After the hugs we headed home to begin a two week adventure. 

The last two weeks have been Colin and Brandy. Dan and Jen. Or more actually Colin and Dan. Brandy and Jen. 

Between swimming at Jerusalem Mill, sitting on the Pier at Mariner and many Bon fires. It has been wonderful getting to know both of them.

The house was filled with music and laughter. Now as I sit here and type they are home and it can’t be helped that I miss them. 

Years ago, I wrote about asking God for a best friend. You know; the Anne and Diana-Kindred spirit kind. I can honestly say that I finally found my kindred spirit. Jen and I got to be really close. Now she is one of my best friends. 

Jen is also a blogger. She blogs at  A Splash of Yellow  go check her out! 

We also spent a week in Williamsburg. ( Those pictures will be in a separate posts). Here are few pictures from the first week!

To be continued……..