Good morning!I am in a couple of seasons right now in life. Anyone else? I have been questioning myself and what I am doing. Then when you add the TTC journey, and little things scattered in the mix. I felt like I was going around and picking up the pieces. The more I tried to pick up, the worse it got. God then put it on my heart that I wasn’t trusting him. Does anyone else get those chills like the ones you get when someone drags their nails along a chalk board? Let’s be honest. I haven’t really fully trusted Him. I think we all have those moments. So I decided to detox my heart. I am fasting from Facebook, and I will say that since deleting the app from my phone, I have not missed it. I have been loving having one less thing to “check”. I also decided that even though I have been on the TTC journey since October, that I needed to take a step back and take care of me. I want to get my heart back on track. I want to be able to love people the way Jesus loves me. I want to love myself the way I am. I want to enjoy the journey of trying for a baby, not dread each month that doesn’t work out. I think those of you who are dealing with TTC struggles can understand. Each month has been heartbreaking. Each month I have tried and prayed and pleaded. I took a pregnancy test about a week ago. I was praying and I got to a point where I started to utter the words ” Did you forget about me God?”. It is so easy to get to that point. That’s when I realized that I just needed to take a couple of steps back. Because I have not been forgotten by God. Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NIV) ” He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from the beginning to end.” I don’t fully understand why I am going through the season I am. But God does. Not one part of this journey has been wasted or was an accident. It is so hard to see that at times. Yet as I have taken one distraction out and taking care of this heart.
No matter what season your going through, you have not been forgotten. Whether your single, wanting a baby, waiting for that dream job, going through medical issues… No matter what your going through, you have a God that is for you. You have a purpose here. What you learn in this season, is really up to you. We can reach out for the hand extended to us, it’s there. We just need to take it.
Through this journey, God has been putting some things on my heart. I have been able to focus on what it is that God is telling me. Now I am in the praying stage for a special project God has put on my heart. In some ways I have been using the past few days to allow God to take hold of my heart and tell me what it is. It’s nothing huge, it’s something that is so simple and in a lot of ways fitting. I have had this on my heart for awhile now, but it was in the last couple of days that a fire has been set and I am praying for the fire to spread. I will share when I feel that I have things in place!
I am praying for you. I am praying for whatever season you are in that God will just cover you in His presence!